Male Survivor Victims of Sexual Assault

Male Sexual Assault

1 in 6 males will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime. Some men are assaulted by a stranger, or a group of strangers, while others may be assaulted by someone they know. Men are sometimes sexually assaulted by women but most often they are sexually assaulted by other men.

Male survivor victims affected by sexual violence can receive FREE, confidential, help through the St. Croix Valley Sexual Assault Response Team (SART), 24/7. Call 715-425-6443. You are not alone and we know how to help.

Stereotypes and Myths

(section credits to RAINN)

There are various stereotypes and myths that impact male survivors’ ability to face their sexual assault. These include:

• Men are immune to victimization
• Men can’t be sexually assaulted
• Only gay men are sexually assaulted
• Only gay men sexually assault other men
• Men cannot be sexually assaulted by women
• Men should be able to fight off attacks
• Men shouldn’t express emotion
• Men enjoy all sex, so they must have enjoyed the assault
• Male survivors are more likely to become sexual predators

These stereotypes and myths can then lead to certain results for male victims of sexual assault, including:

• Dramatic loss of self-esteem
• Belief in their masculinity
• Self-blame
• Feelings of shame, guilt, anger
• Feelings of powerlessness, apprehension, withdrawal, and embarrassment
• Fears that they won’t be able to protect and support their families
• Sexual difficulties
• Self-destructive behavior (drinking, drug use, aggression)
• Intimacy issues
• Questioning of sexual identity

How You Can Help

(Section credit Counseling and Mental Health Center; The University of Texas at Austin)

Male survivors of sexual assault may experience certain barriers to seeking support or services, either from friends and family or from organizations and institutions. There are universal things loved ones can do to help, including:

• Listen, don’t judge; try to simply understand his feelings
• If possible, stay with him at his place or let him stay at yours
• Be there and give comfort; he may need to talk a lot or at odd hours at the beginning
• Be there as much as you can and encourage him to talk to others
• Encourage him to seek professional help
• Be patient; don’t try to rush the healing process or quickly “make it better”
• Accept his choice of what to do about the sexual assault — don’t be overly protective
• Ask him what he needs, help him list his options, then encourage him to make his own decisions—even if you disagree
• It is very important that he make his own decisions and have them respected
• Put aside your feelings and get support for yourself; it may be too overwhelming for him to deal with your angry feelings on top of his own
• If you have strong angry feelings or feelings of blame toward him, talk to a friend or a prfessional

If you or someone you know has been sexually assaulted, it’s not your fault. You are not alone. Help is available 24/7 through the St. Croix Valley Sexual Assault Response Team (SART). Call 715-425-6443 for HELP.